This is real life scenario and I am short of words on how to describe it or do not know what to classify it, but I believe this forum will enlighten me on what to do. Please I would like all your comment on how to describe it and possible counsel these party involved.
Is it possible for a woman to be abused or beaten in anger in situations that seem to arise almost every other day and when you think that it will stop, there go back to having sex immediately as if nothing happened.
I have been witnessing this situation for while and I am baffled. I am changing names and location to prevent any exposure to this party involved. Mary works in this supermarket and after she got this job her supervisor who is her immediate boss, took a liken to her and they started dating and before long it became sexual as the case is in this part of the world. The first time I was informed of their quarrels I was told that her boyfriend the supervision named John beats her up with blows to her body added with hard sounding slaps and when other colleagues of her tried to step in Musa told them to mind their business.
I have also tried to come in sometimes but John has categorically told me to mind my business. What amazes me is that the abuse is increasing and these guys are still together sexually I have witness cases where John use metal objects to hit Mary, when I approached their boss he told me that there is nothing he can do unless the girl (Mary) complains.
I still say that sex early sexual relationship in a relationship is the cause of abuse to the woman and we must but a stop to it.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Quality Time With Ur Kids
My son Mike, woke up about 2am one night. At first he called out for his mum and then started crying. His mother went into the room where he sleeps with his younger sister to check on him. For about 5 minutes he was crying and would not let his mother touch him, so she called out to me to come over and I did.
As I came close to him and asked what the matter was, he continued crying. ‘Mike what is it? I asked,’ he made no comments and when I got into the bed to hold him he turned away in anger and just continued crying.
At this point his mother was upset with him as he was already becoming loud and in the process of waking his sister up. She said she would spank him, but I told her to be patient. She took him into the bathroom to see if he wanted to pee, still he just went on crying and stayed back in the bathroom. In despair his mother left him there and told me to take over as she had done all she could.
Then I held him by the hand and took him to another room, carried him up to sleep with me on the bed, but he got up annoyed and stood by the side of the bed crying and saying that he did us see us during the day.
It was then that it dawned on me what the matter was. Mike had complained some days before then that we were never around when it was their bedtime and that we left them alone at home with their nanny also saying that he wanted us around. When he said it at first, it broke my heart.
Well you see Mike is just 4 years plus and being a first child he saw us around a lot while growing up, but now he misses all the attention, love and security he felt when we were around. So this show of anger was just to let us know that he was unhappy. I held him close and told him not to get upset that Mummy and I will ensure that we got home early and then he stopped, climbed into the bed, held unto me tightly and slept quietly.
You see children are really sensitive and strongly attached to their parents as they grow up, especially toddlers. We as parents must ensure that at this stage of their growing years we spend quality time with them. This is the time when they ask a lot of questions and would require answers only from Mummy and Daddy their role models and they feel really secured only around their Parents.
They are very watchful, always listening to whatever the parents say, watching what they do, what they wear and how they do things. Whenever I am shaving they love to watch and ask questions.
Never allow caregivers to be the ones to answer their questions as the caregivers sometime are not educated enough or patient to give the right answers.
Remember that a child always looks up to its parents for guidance; as a matter of fact God planned it that way. No matter how tight your schedules are, your children are more important and valuable and you are the ones to shape them up and show them the way that they should go in life.
Whenever I meet a child who is not cultured right, I know who to blame, the parents of course.
Everything we do, say or become today was birthed in us as children. So please parents make out time to set them on the right path, after all these kids represent your future. Remember the word of God says ‘Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it’..... Ponder on this!
As I came close to him and asked what the matter was, he continued crying. ‘Mike what is it? I asked,’ he made no comments and when I got into the bed to hold him he turned away in anger and just continued crying.
At this point his mother was upset with him as he was already becoming loud and in the process of waking his sister up. She said she would spank him, but I told her to be patient. She took him into the bathroom to see if he wanted to pee, still he just went on crying and stayed back in the bathroom. In despair his mother left him there and told me to take over as she had done all she could.
Then I held him by the hand and took him to another room, carried him up to sleep with me on the bed, but he got up annoyed and stood by the side of the bed crying and saying that he did us see us during the day.
It was then that it dawned on me what the matter was. Mike had complained some days before then that we were never around when it was their bedtime and that we left them alone at home with their nanny also saying that he wanted us around. When he said it at first, it broke my heart.
Well you see Mike is just 4 years plus and being a first child he saw us around a lot while growing up, but now he misses all the attention, love and security he felt when we were around. So this show of anger was just to let us know that he was unhappy. I held him close and told him not to get upset that Mummy and I will ensure that we got home early and then he stopped, climbed into the bed, held unto me tightly and slept quietly.
You see children are really sensitive and strongly attached to their parents as they grow up, especially toddlers. We as parents must ensure that at this stage of their growing years we spend quality time with them. This is the time when they ask a lot of questions and would require answers only from Mummy and Daddy their role models and they feel really secured only around their Parents.
They are very watchful, always listening to whatever the parents say, watching what they do, what they wear and how they do things. Whenever I am shaving they love to watch and ask questions.
Never allow caregivers to be the ones to answer their questions as the caregivers sometime are not educated enough or patient to give the right answers.
Remember that a child always looks up to its parents for guidance; as a matter of fact God planned it that way. No matter how tight your schedules are, your children are more important and valuable and you are the ones to shape them up and show them the way that they should go in life.
Whenever I meet a child who is not cultured right, I know who to blame, the parents of course.
Everything we do, say or become today was birthed in us as children. So please parents make out time to set them on the right path, after all these kids represent your future. Remember the word of God says ‘Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it’..... Ponder on this!
Monday, June 8, 2009
know ur kids
Culled from BABYWISE MAGAZINE
Usually Kids have so much to say, but no one seems to be listening because parents think they are too young or too immature to know what they want, but I can assure in some cases that’s not true. As a parent you need to know your child [reach into their minds i.e. literally get into their heads] to know how they think and help them make decisions that would stir them in the right direction in life.
Lt is very important you get into their minds because the bible says “as a man thinketh in his heart so is he” and also bible says for us to” guard our heart because it determines the course of our lives”. So you see why it is important you get into their minds, hear their thoughts by listening to them and also make decisions for them[I don’t mean force your decisions on them].it is important as a parent to let your children know the consequences of their actions because in most cases if you don’t handle issues intelligently and advice them nicely, they’d still do what they think is right and get things messed up anyway so why don’t you take out time to help them get it right, like a beautiful lady once said “get things right the first time” and make the world a better and beautiful place.
As a teenager I made some decisions that were not so cool, not because I wasn’t told they were wrong steps to take but I wasn’t told the consequences of my actions and I got things messed up.
Here are some steps on how to get to know your kids move and be their best friends:
1,Love your children-it is one thing to love a child and it is another thing for the child to know “daddy or mummy love me”, let them know how u feel for them and how concerned you are about their well being. Dr. Ross Campbell uses the picture of a child's "emotion tank" to illustrate this point. It's a useful metaphor. Children, by nature, are very needy beings--the greatest of those needs being love. How well a child's emotional needs are met will determine how that child feels and ultimately how he or she behaves. Very often, negative behavior in children is an indication that their love tanks are on empty.
2,Be their friends-Communication is a very vital key here, be your kids best friends, be the first to hear what they have to say before anyone else[their peers] gets to hear about it. Learn to talk to your kids, tackle time stealer, beware of the terrible two “t’s” and one “l” which are television, telephone and computer, if you keep getting distracted by this 3factors you endangering you Childs future. It is true that God gives you children, but you are responsible for your children’s well being, like some parents say “God will protect them”. As a parent it is your sole responsibility to protect you kid.
Little Hint
1. Be their friends
2. Avoid distractions when with them
3. Listen to them.
4. Give them good counsel
5. Let them know the consequences of their actions.
For questions and suggestions pls send a mail to the writer tara_buk@yahoo.co.uk or babywisemagazine@yahoo.com
Usually Kids have so much to say, but no one seems to be listening because parents think they are too young or too immature to know what they want, but I can assure in some cases that’s not true. As a parent you need to know your child [reach into their minds i.e. literally get into their heads] to know how they think and help them make decisions that would stir them in the right direction in life.
Lt is very important you get into their minds because the bible says “as a man thinketh in his heart so is he” and also bible says for us to” guard our heart because it determines the course of our lives”. So you see why it is important you get into their minds, hear their thoughts by listening to them and also make decisions for them[I don’t mean force your decisions on them].it is important as a parent to let your children know the consequences of their actions because in most cases if you don’t handle issues intelligently and advice them nicely, they’d still do what they think is right and get things messed up anyway so why don’t you take out time to help them get it right, like a beautiful lady once said “get things right the first time” and make the world a better and beautiful place.
As a teenager I made some decisions that were not so cool, not because I wasn’t told they were wrong steps to take but I wasn’t told the consequences of my actions and I got things messed up.
Here are some steps on how to get to know your kids move and be their best friends:
1,Love your children-it is one thing to love a child and it is another thing for the child to know “daddy or mummy love me”, let them know how u feel for them and how concerned you are about their well being. Dr. Ross Campbell uses the picture of a child's "emotion tank" to illustrate this point. It's a useful metaphor. Children, by nature, are very needy beings--the greatest of those needs being love. How well a child's emotional needs are met will determine how that child feels and ultimately how he or she behaves. Very often, negative behavior in children is an indication that their love tanks are on empty.
2,Be their friends-Communication is a very vital key here, be your kids best friends, be the first to hear what they have to say before anyone else[their peers] gets to hear about it. Learn to talk to your kids, tackle time stealer, beware of the terrible two “t’s” and one “l” which are television, telephone and computer, if you keep getting distracted by this 3factors you endangering you Childs future. It is true that God gives you children, but you are responsible for your children’s well being, like some parents say “God will protect them”. As a parent it is your sole responsibility to protect you kid.
Little Hint
1. Be their friends
2. Avoid distractions when with them
3. Listen to them.
4. Give them good counsel
5. Let them know the consequences of their actions.
For questions and suggestions pls send a mail to the writer tara_buk@yahoo.co.uk or babywisemagazine@yahoo.com
Money or Pleasure
A man came for counseling needing advice, what was the matter. He has been married for 5 years, had 4 kids and a pretty wife is into business which he finance when working and she is doing well and paying the bills. The problem is that he lost his job in an oil company for over a year and now he is having problems at home; his wife has told him that they cannot be compatible any more unless he gets a job fast or picks up financially. There both sleep in separate beds for 6 months now and he has had been handling it well, but he now has an offer become a millionaire but become a eunuch what should he do after all. He does not have sex with his wife any more and there has been temptations. What should he do after all his wife can now move along or stay after all money will now be available? Let’s have your views and advice to this man.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Sex, God's way
In recent times, it is appalling to know that misguided women now use sex as gratification or to show appreciation. Oh boy when did sex become a medium of exchange for either a favor or thank you note?. Men will give money or use their position to demand sex for favor or a need met. Women will try to make their bodies as a mode of getting result for a need; this is very sad and pathetic. What is going on or was the devil not defeated, why allow one to be clouded by wrong ideas or using the most stupid and easy but degrading way out of something. The way God made sex should make any misguided person reconsider his or her action, sex is pleasurable, it is meant for two person alone, it is sacred and done with the entire spirit soul and body of the parties involved but you know what God put in the mind, you can hold it, it is not something tangible, it is almost vague and still it is refreshing yet still something you feel not touch. When you really take time to see sex as God made it then you will not abuse it. A lady who is pretty or endowed, but not intelligent has used her body to become somebody, it like that saying using what you’ve got to get what you need.
A misguided man will humiliate a woman sexually by using his position to demand sex, how sad a man once told a lady applicant, if you really need this job you will show it meaning sleep with me to get this job and she will continue to do it to keep it. In our society today, sex has gotten some women, jobs, cars, houses, wealth but you know what she will eventually pay the price for this, please consider your ways, what does it profit a man to gain the world(pleasures of life) and then lose his soul, Matthew 16: 26
Sex is passionate, it is done with your soul, spirit and body yet God put in your mind meaning you can control the way you feel, so hey learn to zip it or zip up. Do not destroy your life or those of your love ones, your future and your destiny. Sex has been the cause of break ups in homes, conflict at work, youths or juvenile vices and even conflicts amongst nation. Think about God and his plan for your, do not destroy that home, that future of that girl or even yourself. Hell is real and remember hell is just a place of torment after that the Lake of fire, hell has fire but the lake is 100% fire. Live a life free of sin and sexual vices, one thing about sexual sin you do it with all your body, which is the temple of the Lord and you know that there is a price for destroying that temple,1Corinthians 6: 13-20. Like a man of God said, when you go about abusing sex it become of less value and that is when it looks like there is no more satisfaction in it hence the drive to misuse it. Get to know God and his plans for you, sex in marriage has meaning and you then appreciate what God did in giving it to a man and his woman. It brings a oneness and a togetherness, please do not let the devil use sex to lead you to hell, it is not worth it, if your eyes will cause you to sin, then pluck it need I say more……
Sex for Gratification
In recent times, it is appalling to know that misguided women now use sex as gratification or to show appreciation. Oh boy when did sex become
a medium of exchange for either a favor or thank you note?
Men will give money or use their position to demand sex for favor or a need met. Women will try to make their bodies as a mode of getting result for a need; this is very sad and pathetic. What is going on or was the devil not defeated, why allow one to be clouded by wrong ideas or using the most stupid and easy but degrading way out of something.
The way God made sex should make any misguided person reconsider his or her action, sex is pleasurable, it is meant for two person alone, it is sacred and done with the entire spirit soul and body of the parties involved but you know what God put in the mind, you can hold it, it is not something tangible, it is almost vague and still it is refreshing yet still something you feel not touch. When you really take time to see sex as God made it then you will not abuse it.
A lady who is pretty or endowed, but not intelligent has used her body to become somebody, it like that saying using what you’ve got to get what you need.
A misguided man will humiliate a woman sexually by using his position to demand sex, how sad a man once told a lady applicant, if you really need this job you will show it meaning sleep with me to get this job and she will continue to do it to keep it. In our society today, sex has gotten some women, jobs, cars, houses, wealth but you know what she will eventually pay the price for this, please consider your ways, what does it profit a man to gain the world(pleasures of life) and then lose his soul, Matthew 16: 26
Sex is passionate, it is done with your soul, spirit and body yet God put in your mind meaning you can control the way you feel, so hey learn to zip it or zip up. Do not destroy your life or those of your love ones, your future and your destiny. Sex has been the cause of break ups in homes, conflict at work, youths or juvenile vices and even conflicts amongst nation. Think about God and his plan for your, do not destroy that home, that future of that girl or even yourself. Hell is real and remember hell is just a place of torment after that the biggy the Lake of fire, hell has fire but the lake is 100% fire. Live a life free of sin and sexual vices, one thing about sexual sin you do it with all your body, which is the temple of the Lord and you know that there is a price for destroying that temple,1Corinthians 6: 13-20. Like a man of God said, when you go about abusing sex it become of less value and that is when it looks like there is no more satisfaction in it hence the drive to misuse it. Get to know God and his plans for you, sex in marriage has meaning and you then appreciate what God did in giving it to a man and his woman. It brings a oneness and a togetherness, please do not let the devil use sex to lead you to hell, it is not worth it, if your eyes will cause you to sin, then pluck it need I say more……
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
This Times
As Christians, we should not be ignorant of the times that we are in now, taking words from my Man of God Pastor Chris “this is the best time for a Christian”. The present recession is not against us, but for us, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose”. All we need to do at times like this is to focused on God’s word for the now. We must wake up to the fatherhood of God. He is not against us but bringing us to our heritage. We own this world, it’s ours and when things seem to go wrong it is for us to know that we are the answers that the world needs at this time. The Bible declares that the whole world awaits the manifestation of the sons of God.
“Adversity is prosperity to those who possess a great attitude” Its time to change our mind set we are not like the world; we are not trying to outdo anybody but our own past, ourselves. Its time to buy up properties that are being offered, companies and organizations that are getting scared of recession. This not the time to buy cars or luxurious things or items but time to save money or get money to buy up what belongs to you rightfully. Like children of Issacar let us know the time. Every day declare words that will propel you forward, words that will bring the money, men and materials your way. Your mouth is the vessel that will catapult you forward it was not meant only for eating. Matthew 15:11, it is not what goes into the mouth but what comes out that makes or destroy you, Take Charge and remain blessed
“Adversity is prosperity to those who possess a great attitude” Its time to change our mind set we are not like the world; we are not trying to outdo anybody but our own past, ourselves. Its time to buy up properties that are being offered, companies and organizations that are getting scared of recession. This not the time to buy cars or luxurious things or items but time to save money or get money to buy up what belongs to you rightfully. Like children of Issacar let us know the time. Every day declare words that will propel you forward, words that will bring the money, men and materials your way. Your mouth is the vessel that will catapult you forward it was not meant only for eating. Matthew 15:11, it is not what goes into the mouth but what comes out that makes or destroy you, Take Charge and remain blessed
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Its working for my good
Hello Again,
Greetings in the matchless name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ
A very pleasant day to you and yours, how was your day yesterday and how has today been. I pray that God leads and perfect you today.
I want to encourage us all today and to let you know this for sure no matter the situation you are not alone and God will always be there for you just learn to let Him be your guide.
There is so much fear today and a lot of worries about the war in the middle east, and children of God is it not amazing that this things just seem to increase, first it was the global financial crisis and just when it look as if that was it then the war in the middle east began before the new year, mmm what do you think, well it is time to laugh and trust your heavenly father, remember His words says to us when men are casts down or shall say there is a casting down you shall say there is a lifting up(Job 22:29).
Wow I love God and His words there just bring a different picture in the face of pressing situations. C'mon the Bible says the world is the Lord and the fullness thereof, the Gold the cattle everything (Wealth and raiment) and all these has He given to you so do not be afraid just speak His word, He told us that no matter what, where ever we go and in any situation let us Take with us words with which we will be able to build ourselves up and receive an inheritance among them that are sanctified.
So my brothers and sisters, no matter the situation, be it in your marriage, job, finances, body just no this it will turn our for your good, you are not the first and He has already sent His word to strengthen you and heal you completely.
If its your job know this, you are to valuable to be sacked, God put you there to bless that company, If it is your spouse, remember the family that prays together stays together, pray more together and learn to spend time together have fellowship, be in charge, your health ho ho are you not aware His word is light to your feet and medicine to your body just take a hold of your body and begin to declare his word over yourself.
Remember it is a special year for God to show the world that you are His very own as we begin to take control as Sons and Daughters of the most high God.
At work, home, school where ever say this prayer, I am not of this world, I live in the world but not of it, I hail from mount Zion and I cannot be moved or shaken because I know who I am. I in covenant with Jehovah El-shaddai the Almighty God. The future belongs to me. I am a victor, I own this world as a seed of Abraham, and I rule, dictate and lead in this world. Jesus is Lord of my life and he puts me over today. I receive ideas and information to put me ahead in my job, in my business in my home in my marriage in my academics in all that I do today, Glory to God hallelujah, just go ahead and shout oh oh glory amen.
Have a glorious day and remember you are a bundle of Success happening today
Pastor Praise
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