It’s appalling to see the way the issue of relationship
between a boy and a girl or in recent time between a brother and a sister in
church and the result of having long courtship due to the fear of going through
the marriage ceremony. This fear is not due to a lack of understanding between
both parties and for the record nobody ever experience true love until after
you get married so this talk about being in love as the reason for getting
married is just a joke or fallacy.
So I ask what happens to this love after a few weeks or even
days after the ceremony when both parties begin the real process and there now
discover that the have different taste and desire, love in marriages takes a
while and it come true patience and perseverance.
When you see a couple married for over 35 years then you
will realize that it must have come through great sacrifice from both parties
and even more from the woman. Most divorces you hear about comes more from
misunderstanding and in most cases the failure of the woman to submit but that
is another days topic.
Today I am talking more on how society has failed the
younger generation by imposing too much demand on the marriage ceremony than
the marriage itself, quoting Pastor telling us about his own experience “the
wedding party or reception is not the marriage; it’s the couple that is the marriage”
This demand on issues like where to have the reception, the
food, the arrangement is not the integral part of getting married, its even
more appalling in Nigeria today where so much is placed in the so called “TRADITIONAL
WEDDING” So called traditional weddings run into millions of Naira, but if one
is lucky you might get a bill of less than 500,000 naira. Most expensive
weddings do not last long, its just a photo trick.
This has lead to so much pains and misgivings when it comes
to the boy going to the girls place to get her hand in marriage in the so
called introduction that is when the boy’s relations come to inform the girl’s
family of their intention. This phobia has gone to the extent that the are a
lot of saved Christians who are married the traditional way and yet to get
married proper.
I know some people think that the traditional is more
important but that’s where we miss it, who came first God or man, who handle
the first marriage ceremony, God of course, where there any expensive occasion
or any exchange of expensive gift. Its time we put things right, we are not of
this world and its mode of operation.
Do you know how many young men and women have died in Nigeria
In the civilized system of getting married all you require
is to locate a priest or a pastor and all you need is your rings and the vows. The
most important aspect of marriages is bringing it before the ONE that started
it God our father.
As I write I can count at least 26 born again Christians who
are not rightfully married in the eyes of God, but have either done the
introduction or the traditional marriage and kids have arrived or are already
on the way.
I say this to you do not take chances or let the system
destroy you, do it right and do it the Gods way. If you can afford a ring and
you are sure both of you are in agreement get to your Pastor and do it right, whoever
want to be angry that he or she was not there to eat an drink at your expenses
is free to get angry. The success of any marriage is based on the Faith of God
so make Him your number one partner and live the dead to handle the dead things
of this world
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